Happy coincidences may often be God’s secret delights.
While the rest of our flowers are submitting to Autumns floral destruction, this nice wild rose came up and visited our permanent plywood Nativity Scene on our front deck. Sheer happy coincidence…you think?
This kind of stuff happens all the time. This reminds me of the old hymn “Oh Worship the King“. I love symbolic pictures. I pray our Wild hearts bow before the King of Kings.
Gary
With dawn breaking darkness my woods walk found me pondering one of life’s questions. “Why am I not enough?” If I telescope the universe, I am small. I cannot blip the “important” scale, or any other. It’s really quite simple. I am not enough.
Silk worm (like me) just hanging in there…
I find ways to be important. Causes, being a voice, influencing, money, power and being bigger-better-smarter than “those”. All zeros as life slips into the ultimate irony when all my numbers and zeros are worth…”ZERO” I cannot be enough.
As my walk nears the open field, I can barely see the sun through the fog. The sun, much bigger than me. No life without the sun. No questions without the sun. Enough to see. Enough to be. Why do I think there’s more?
It’s sad when two are not enough for each other. One cannot deny the divorce commonness. Deflections, clamoring’s and finger-pointing abounds when nothing can fill the voids of life. Even in mourning I still find myself collecting grief shells in a small overflowing time bucket. It’s written in the DNA; No one is enough.
I gaze at the sun gradually melting the fog. The Son. Predictions and promises of enough. “I am The Way, The Truth and The Life. NO ONE come to the Father (ENOUGH) but through Me”
So I, in dew drenched knees, dump out my “enough” bucket of shells, trinkets, plastic trophies, grief shells, aspirations, zeros and accolades. I reach for the outstretched hand of the Son and hear the familiar “follow me”. I leave my bucket. I smile as an odd thot crosses my mind, “I am filled with enough and have plenty to share”. The next time I walk by my old bucket I may just kick it.
“Whoever has the Son has life (ENOUGH); whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life” 1 John 5:12
I have found I am not enough, but walking, talking and being fulfilled in a relationship Jesus is my enough.
Gary
The first hitch of daylight came with this mornings first coffee. 4 hours of sleep but I’m awake from some extra curricular caregiving. “Ah Lord God…good morning” I whispered and took a sip. “So, Jesus…how much sleep did you get before riding on that unbroken colt into Jerusalem ?”
Morning broke as I read. Deeper thoughts stirred my mind. Sips of story mixed with coffee and new thoughts. I’m here in the moment. I’m in Jerusalem, I’m a child waving palm branches, I’m a vapor in the scheme of things yet loved and carved into his hands.
I answer another call for help from our daughters bedroom. We talk through her pain. There’s so much love…she is waving palm branches, praising yet desperate for Jesus touch. Her world of extreme pain and over-the-top love overlapping in rare moments that cross the border into that miraculous zone most never experience. “We love because He first loved us”.
The sun is breaking through the clouds. I sip and weep. So good. Wish I could share more sips….ah, someday.
Gary
Some of us want to create, create, create. Most of us want to be “known,” for whatever it is that drives us internally in our particular art. There are few of us who would prefer to be an unseen but unique- undiscovered flower in the woods- off the beaten path- unknown and Ok with it… maybe. I don’t know what I want, but I still like to create without timeframes or borders. A blog here and there, a few pictures of a walk in the woods or a wilderness adventure. I am not very driven to be known by more than a few.
My flower in the wood’s moments would be my music. I write songs or remake familiar tunes. My sacred moments happen on the piano or keyboard. Maybe down the road I will share some video of this last piece, but the words for me are shareable. They are my expression as a follower of Jesus. You might relate.
Anytime Anywhere
Anytime, anywhere, seek my savior, He is there. Bow my heart and know He is near.
Know HIs love and seek HIs face. Find HIs joy and let HIs peace
flood your soul, shine His presence
I want your heart, to beat in my soul, seeds of your love-grow, in your control.
Pour out my will. Wash me until, you fill with your peace, untainted and still.
Anytime. Anywhere. Your My God…who is there. Nothing can stop your Love.
Anytime. Anywhere. When My world is in despair, My Jesus, I rest in your care.
My Jesus, I rest in your care.
Written by Gary Fultz 02 04 2025
Gary
Awhile back I was the speaker for a church fish fry. I was supposed to tell some fishing stories, share some fishing tips and present a challenge for each individual to know where they stood in a relationship with God. I didn’t really know anyone. I quickly sized up the rough and tumble group and concluded that a relationship with God might be another dimension for at least some of them (Yep, I judged them, and told some of my tips and stories).
After I spoke, a man leaned both hands on the table by me. With a low voice he said, “I brought my fishing buddy here tonight. You said all the words he needed to hear”. The room was filled with people around tables talking in subdued tones with some good laughter now and then. I noticed the stark contrast. The beginning of the evening, leading up to the church fish fry, was full of loud boastful voices with some serious put-downs. The winds of thought had brought us as a group to another place. A good place. Another dimension of relationship. God was involved. “A miracle happened” I thought.
“Will your friend listen to those words?” I asked. His reply was immediate…”I’m going to find out”
Concerning many relationships, what we want to hear is often so different than what we need to hear. When we begin to talk about having a relationship with God, it’s like going to another dimension. Many will not go there. Those of us who have a right relationship with God experience the initial changes as well as the gradual transformed life. God’s agenda for us, as we walk with him, is becoming more like Jesus.
I’m still pondering the dynamics, from start to finish, of a small group of mostly guys at a church fish fry. It seemed the whole group went to another dimension, or at least stood by the opened portal-door. Yes, last night I observed the secret to world peace, in those finding personal peace with God. The church seemed more peaceful. As I walked out to find my car, 2 Corinthians 5:17 came to mind…“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation (as in new species) : old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new!
What a fun evening. New friends, good food, lots of stories and laughter, God moved in people’s lives. I’m quite familiar with this dimension in everyday life. Another dimension? Only if a relationship with God is not a part of your everyday life.
…Sigh, I just realized I forgot to tell my big fish, no net, from a canoe on 10 lb test-story….huh
Gary
Uh-oh, was the name of our handicapped daughters first doll. Poor dolly had a lot of those moments, so the expression stuck. Ironically, that was the same expression uttered by the attending doctor when our middle daughter was born. He quickly noticed the purplish bulb on her back containing the unfinished spinal column.
I uttered uh-oh 3 days ago while sawing firewood with the chain saw as I lost control of my legs and fell forward towards the running saw. My back had suddenly gone out of place and my limbs instantly quit working. Thankfully my thumb was by the shut off and the saw quit immediately.
After 3 days, I am finally able to walk with help. Actually, I call it the four-inch-sideways shuffle. My wife thinks we are dancing. This uh-oh is painful and slow healing. I am hoping to be able to get in a car and ride to a chiropractor this next week, which will be painful. I tell myself it’s a good pain. I tell myself I will go back to doing what I have been doing. Soon. Maybe. Have a look at some pictures of my doings in semi-retirement. Click to enlarge. I wish the fish got bigger that way…
My year has been filled with able bodied tasks, till now. Cutting and splitting firewood, cutting out wood plaques, making a covered home for the snowblower attachment to the skid steer, ice fishing, cleaning up the woods from dead standing and fallen trees, grilling, making jerky and planning more wilderness canoe treks. The list goes on. Those plans are on hold, if and until I get my body back to being able. I think I have been taking the able body thing for granted more than I thought. An accident-prone person ought to know better.
Meanwhile, I am getting claustrophobic in a body that can’t do anything or go anywhere, yet I am really good and content inside. My wife loves me, possibly too much for her own good (I chose well, we have grown well together). I’m accepting of the possibility that my life’s plans and even passions may take a back seat to reality. My wife and I talk of how many hard things have happened to us and also how much of our lives have been enriched and blessed in spite of the hard things. I see these tensions that seem to combat one another, how good they are and understand that all the contentment comes from many years of having a right relationship with God. No other explanation exists. I’m overwhelmed and good inside. I sometimes struggle with the right words or word pictures, but it’s important. How many people can get to be content inside themselves with this crazy upside-down world? I say we all could.
Everyone has a pail full of faith. Everyone’s pail seems to be a different size. Some have filled their pail with themself. Their opinions, learnings, education, perceived facts and experiences and whoever they may listen to in doing life. They may be labeled atheist, agnostic, or whatever, but they live by faith. Religious people live by faith. Some have a bucket full of beliefs, rules, people they follow and a perceived way to live like God wants them to believe and live. Much of the world is a combination of both. I would also dare to guess that many do not know what’s in their faith bucket, and some don’t care. We sit in a chair believing it will hold us up. In money some trust (if I could just go viral,,,) and life would go well.
The object of our faith is important. I know that I am not enough. I don’t belong in my faith bucket. Right now, I can’t walk across the room without help. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.” He addressed the what’s in your faith bucket. Millions of books are written on why and how Jesus needs to fill our faith bucket while so many people stuff their faith bucket full of books and a bible that talks about it (ugh, there are so many ways to try to be God).
A part of eternity is lived here, day by day. Someday when we are gone from here, there will be a moment when we make eye contact with the king of kings. The one who died for our sins so we could be declared perfect to God. Will this king have that tinge of recognition in his eyes, or will we be seen as a stranger? He will only invite those he knows inside forever. It will be beyond important then, which makes it important now.
I still do not enjoy uh-oh’s, but in the context of life and where I’m sitting, I’m really doing well. My pail of faith may be way less than the size of a mustard seed, but I want only Jesus in it. Whether I live in pain or die in luxury, I am really alive because of Jesus.
Her middle name is Joy.
37 surgeries at this time,
some life flights, lots of pain.
A radiant smile. coincidence? I think not.
Gary
Some of you have a great Bible verse or passage, so post in comments.
After 6 years…This post has a conclusion at the end. (Originally posted January 2018)
I ask a coworker friend often; “How is your wife doing?” Before saying anything past a long drawn out “OH,” and a sigh “you know”; there is a telling glint in his eye that means more than words. A small deep glint at the core encrusted within weary, torn and sad eyes. The glint matches the smile on his face and humor held in check by 3 hours of sleep a night. “We pray for you often;” I say. “We know and feel it” he says, and we go about our work.
Sometimes there is a Bond of Brotherhood that defies depth and definition. Pain has hunted us down and we are fighting it together. Lots of people have pain. Awful pain. It’s normal to just survive it the best we can, hoping for better days. As hard as it is, there is more than just a dark side. There is a side that produces my coworkers steely eye glint. The Aurora Borealis of glints in an eye.
Pain, especially ongoing never-ending pain, causes people to pick a path. Some of us go numb for a while, retreating into a shell. We play the “poor me” card. Some wave a big flag and call attention to all their woes. Many cards are usually played here including the “send me money” card, and there is a whole deck of personal reaction cards. I want to tell you about our friends who live differently in their pain than most. I will call them Mr. and Mrs. B.
Mrs. B has had a degenerative disease for many years which has led to her body not working correct on many fronts. She is bedridden and can sit in a wheelchair sometimes when seeing doctors and such. Her pain is so bad she is chipping her teeth from clenching her jaw. A mouth guard is now needed. Her pain triggers a PTSD type situation where she does not recognize her husband for time periods. Mr. B is the main caregiver as well as husband and is totally committed to seeing her through. Mr. B has long hair and a long ponytail (from the old days) that he will never cut off as Mrs. B can only be convinced that Mr. B is really her husband as he has her grab his ponytail. He gets about 3 hours of sleep a night after keeping any sharp objects away from her. God, humor and friends keep them going, mostly God. I asked our company to hire him and let him leave and come back as often as he needs for his wife. Every company needs a Mr. B (for 100 reasons plus his work ethic and influence on work culture) although he falls asleep in meetings.
Early last Sunday morning Mrs. B felt “weighed” to pray for our pastor. She did not know he would have to quit in the middle of his sermon and ask our associate pastor to step in and finish. She seems to know things before they happen because of her unusual walk with God, this is normal. Her trust in God is a Redwood Forest of trust compared to a normal forest. Seeds grown in the soil of pain and nurtured by walking with God.
Mrs. B had her doctor in tears because of her reaction last week to all the bad news about how bad her body is doing. She assured her doctor that she was really OK because in the big picture she knows where she is going and life here is but a blip on the screen of eternity. She has that glint in her eye that is physically real. I believe (totally unsubstantiated) God has given this couple a glint connected to eternity.
The hundreds letters of encouragement by Mrs. B to missionaries, scores of college students and others in the community that have needed prayer have waned over the years. The ability to host a small group in their home is probably gone. A silent unseen spiritual warrior gaining more strength in the heavenly realm as the physical slips away. Who does this? Actually, there are many stories, many silent lives strong in faith and weak in body. Mrs. B has been assured deep within her soul, by God; that she will someday have her body redeemed. Our Spina Bifida daughter is another and you may know someone like this. Should we not all have this faith and assurance in the depth of our being? Should we not all “Get a Glint”?
22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?
Now that’s something worth glinting for!
Mrs. B went home to be with her Jesus a couple days ago. In all her pain she finished well. Watching, I am without excuse. We all get a conclusion. Bye Deb… Bruce and I will see you at the gate. Final sunset, silent taps.
So, God the Father called the angels together and said ” Here’s what is going down tonight… you can make the announcement. You can make it the biggest show on earth.” One angel spoke up “who gets to be there”? The Father grinned, ” only the shepherds watching their flocks around the hills of Bethlehem. They will need directions and then they will tell everyone…and one more thing, don’t scare the sheep!”
”Grandpa…that’s not how it happened”
Sigh…Kids now-days! No matter how good or bad life is at Christmas, know that God loves us, was willing to become one of us, All to do what it took to make a relationship with our creator possible and give us a restored life, here and forever. This is why I think God the Father said “Hey angels come here!” I personally think they enjoyed scaring the shepherds. And, yes, you theologians can be like the grand kids and correct me in the comments section.
Have a Merry Christmas…Gary
An eyewitness said later…”Now there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if every one should be written, I suppose not even the world itself to have space for the books to be written.” (John 21:25)
“I want what you and M have.”
He poked at the campfire ashes, revealing the live coals under layers of ash. “How symbolic” I thought.
“You guys are Christian. I’ve been thinking of converting to Christianity, but I don’t want church like my relatives. I don’t want to be like them. I want what you got.”
“What do we have?” I asked. “I don’t know, but I want it. I have to find it because that’s what I am missing. I know that it has to do with God and I know that you and M have it.”
A long talk ensued about the difference between having a relationship with God and being religious. One is becoming like God while the other is full of rhetoric and just believes strongly. One knows inner peace in the midst of chaos, a deep joy in the midst of sorrow as well as laughter, Love for more than those who are close (even one’s enemy), patience that grows with time, hope in and beyond this life, thankfulness and a heart for mankind and generations to come. Things that are not natural to our nature
God knows everything about us, down to the heart’s deepest motives, but He cannot have a relationship with us unless we have a relationship with Him. It takes two.
How can we explain, much less understand, a God who would become human to die in our place out of his immense love for restoring his creation into deep relationship again.
The opposite is often the truth. This world is a place where the deceiver would make honest liars of us all. Where good is bad, lovers are called haters and opinions trump reality.
He poked the stick at the ashes mounding over the glowing coals. He was done for now. “How symbolic” I thought.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)
Gary
A message for Jesus followers.
I often remember a conversation between Todd and me. It was the last time I saw him 42 years ago. “Todd, will you ever have a relationship with Jesus?” Todd “No Gary. Even if God sends me to hell, I have learned that there is always a way out of everything.” Me “that’s not how it works.” Todd: “I don’t believe the bibles take on how I should live my life or what’s after that”
I woke up again last night just before I would have to die in my re-occurring nightmare (for many years now). The only resolve is to wake up, get up and stay up. Going back to bed will only allow it to return. It’s my solution… a resolve. I can then move on with my day.
Everything about life is a type of resolve. In fact, there is always a resolve in the here and now. Hungry? eat. Thirsty? drink. Need money? get a job, a better job or hold up a “help me” sign. Tired? sleep. Music? full of resolves; usually each measure. Movies? always resolved unless there is sequel(s) to resolve. War? fight or escape. Terminal cancer? die. In this life we hope and look for resolve without thinking about it. Resolve or the hope of resolve is always there and always possible, somehow. Miracles do happen in this life; we experience them or at least hear about them. No matter what, we all die and some die twice…ask Lazarous.
I cannot imagine being trapped in my nightmare forever conscious with no escape, no waking up, no getting up, no time frame, no resolve or the relief of death. I cannot go there even for a few seconds as it’s too real, yet knowing hell would be worse than any nightmare I could have as I wake in my present existence. Hell has no resolve. None. No one will know you exist but you.
Eternity. The final resolve. I choose Jesus. I desperately want others to choose Jesus. If there were a stronger word than desperately, I would use it. In the context of my worst nightmare, I read Romans 8. It’s so good. It’s such a wonderful resolve for me. But, what about those who are born into and will be trapped in the little box of existence forever living out a worst nightmare as a final resolve? I cannot wish my worst nightmare on them much less what will happen to them without Jesus “knowing” them (referencing “I never knew you”).
I know how incapable I am of helping someone waking from their worst forever nightmare. All I ask is we pray for God to move us, work through us and allow God’s love and light to shine brightly through us. This means we are becoming lambs without spot or blemish. Time may be short, Final resolve near.
Meanwhile for us, this is ok in light of the alternative and much of the worlds sense of altered reality….”As it is written: For your sake we face death all day long; We are considered as sheep to be slaughtered,” (Romans 8:36) Trust me, this is much better than my worst re-occurring nightmare.
Gary
Gods Ways are...Different 