I would often ask a coworker, “How is your wife doing?” Before saying anything past a long drawn out “OH,” and a sigh “you know”; there is a telling glint in his eye that means more than words. A small deep glint at the core encrusted within weary, torn and sad eyes. The glint matches the smile on his face and humor held in check by 3 hours of sleep a night. “We pray for you often;” I say. “We know and feel it” he says, and we go about our work.
Sometimes there is a Bond of Brotherhood that defies depth and definition. Caregiving pain for a loved one haunts us. It’s hard. Lots of people have pain. Awful pain. It’s normal to just survive it the best we can, hoping for better days. As hard as it is, there is more than just a dark side to pain. There is a side that produces my coworkers steely eye glint. The eye of an overcomer. The Aurora Borealis of glints in an eye.

It’s a choice. Pain, especially ongoing never-ending pain, causes people to pick a path. Some of us go numb for a while, retreating into a shell. A few people play the “poor me” card. I have seen some people wave a big flag and call attention to all their woes. Some even play the “send me money” card. There is a whole deck of personal reaction cards. I want to tell you about our friends who live differently in their pain than most. I will call them Mr. and Mrs. B.
Mrs. B’s story
Mrs. B has had a degenerative disease for many years which has led to her body not working correctly on many fronts. She is bedridden and can sit in a wheelchair sometimes when seeing doctors and such. Her pain is so bad she chips her teeth from clenching her jaw. A mouth guard is now needed. Her pain triggers a PTSD type situation where she does not recognize her husband for time periods.
Mr. B is the main caregiver as well as husband and is totally committed to seeing through his vows “for better or worse.” Mr. B has long hair and a long ponytail that he will never cut off as Mrs. B can only be convinced that Mr. B is really her husband if she feels his ponytail. For some reason his ponytail resets her mind to know “this is her husband”. Mr. B gets about 3 hours of sleep a night after keeping any sharp objects away from his wife, you know… in case she thinks he is a stranger about to do harm. God, humor and friends keep them going, mostly God. I asked our company to hire him and let him leave and come back as often as he needs for his wife. Every company needs a Mr. B. I was privileged to be his boss for a while, even though he fell asleep in most meetings.
Mrs. B seems to know things before they happen because of her unusual walk with God. Early one Sunday morning Mrs. B felt “weighed” to pray for our pastor. She did not know he would have to quit in the middle of his sermon and ask our associate pastor to step in and finish. At this exact time, she was praying for pastor. This was her normal. These “trust seeds” have grown in the fertile soil of pain for several years, nurtured by walking with God.
Mrs. B has often had her doctor in tears because of her unusual reaction to all the bad news about her body’s downward progression. She assures all her doctors that she is really OK because in the big picture she knew where she is going and life here is but a blip on the screen of eternity. She has that glint in her eye that is physically real. I believe God gave this couple a glint connected to eternity for all who cared to see.
The hundreds of encouraging letters each year by Mrs. B to missionaries, scores of college students and others in the community that have needed prayer have waned over the years. The ability to host a small group in their home is gone. She has become a silent unseen spiritual warrior gaining more strength in the heavenly realm as the physical slips away. Someone who’s prayers get answered except for her own pain.
Do you know someone like a Mrs. B? It’s possible you have met many with that glint in their eyes. Many silent lives strong in faith and weak in body. Many mighty warriors living far from the worlds grid. Mrs. B was assured deep within her soul, by God, that she will someday have her body redeemed. She often talked about these times, these visitations and assurances from the lord. They are real.
I am convinced that pain can drive people to completely trust God in ways most of us cannot fathom. But doesn’t God ask us to seek and have this same kind of faith and assurance in the depth of our being? Should we not all strive to “Get a Glint”?

































Several years ago I had asked my oldest daughter to write about a very special adventure. This is often how God works in this world today. He works through us when we say “yes”. Notice the dynamics and add your good thoughts and insights.










