Uh-Oh

Posted on by Gary Fultz

Uh-oh, was the name of our handicapped daughters first doll. Poor dolly had a lot of those moments, so the expression stuck. Ironically, that was the same expression uttered by the attending doctor when our middle daughter was born. He quickly noticed the purplish bulb on her back containing the unfinished spinal column.

I uttered uh-oh 3 days ago while sawing firewood with the chain saw as I lost control of my legs and fell forward towards the running saw. My back had suddenly gone out of place and my limbs instantly quit working. Thankfully my thumb was by the shut off and the saw quit immediately.

After 3 days, I am finally able to walk with help. Actually, I call it the four-inch-sideways shuffle. My wife thinks we are dancing. This uh-oh is painful and slow healing. I am hoping to be able to get in a car and ride to a chiropractor this next week, which will be painful. I tell myself it’s a good pain. I tell myself I will go back to doing what I have been doing. Soon. Maybe. Have a look at some pictures of my doings in semi-retirement. Click to enlarge. I wish the fish got bigger that way…

My year has been filled with able bodied tasks, till now. Cutting and splitting firewood, cutting out wood plaques, making a covered home for the snowblower attachment to the skid steer, ice fishing, cleaning up the woods from dead standing and fallen trees, grilling, making jerky and planning more wilderness canoe treks. The list goes on. Those plans are on hold, if and until I get my body back to being able. I think I have been taking the able body thing for granted more than I thought. An accident-prone person ought to know better.

Meanwhile, I am getting claustrophobic in a body that can’t do anything or go anywhere, yet I am really good and content inside. My wife loves me, possibly too much for her own good (I chose well, we have grown well together). I’m accepting of the possibility that my life’s plans and even passions may take a back seat to reality. My wife and I talk of how many hard things have happened to us and also how much of our lives have been enriched and blessed in spite of the hard things. I see these tensions that seem to combat one another, how good they are and understand that all the contentment comes from many years of having a right relationship with God. No other explanation exists. I’m overwhelmed and good inside. I sometimes struggle with the right words or word pictures, but it’s important. How many people can get to be content inside themselves with this crazy upside-down world? I say we all could.

Everyone has a pail full of faith. Everyone’s pail seems to be a different size. Some have filled their pail with themself. Their opinions, learnings, education, perceived facts and experiences and whoever they may listen to in doing life. They may be labeled atheist, agnostic, or whatever, but they live by faith. Religious people live by faith. Some have a bucket full of beliefs, rules, people they follow and a perceived way to live like God wants them to believe and live. Much of the world is a combination of both. I would also dare to guess that many do not know what’s in their faith bucket, and some don’t care. We sit in a chair believing it will hold us up. In money some trust (if I could just go viral,,,) and life would go well.

The object of our faith is important. I know that I am not enough. I don’t belong in my faith bucket. Right now, I can’t walk across the room without help. Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.” He addressed the what’s in your faith bucket. Millions of books are written on why and how Jesus needs to fill our faith bucket while so many people stuff their faith bucket full of books and a bible that talks about it (ugh, there are so many ways to try to be God).

A part of eternity is lived here, day by day. Someday when we are gone from here, there will be a moment when we make eye contact with the king of kings. The one who died for our sins so we could be declared perfect to God. Will this king have that tinge of recognition in his eyes, or will we be seen as a stranger? He will only invite those he knows inside forever. It will be beyond important then, which makes it important now.

I still do not enjoy uh-oh’s, but in the context of life and where I’m sitting, I’m really doing well. My pail of faith may be way less than the size of a mustard seed, but I want only Jesus in it. Whether I live in pain or die in luxury, I am really alive because of Jesus.

Her middle name is Joy.

37 surgeries at this time,

some life flights, lots of pain.

A radiant smile. coincidence? I think not.

Gary

Some of you have a great Bible verse or passage, so post in comments.

47 thoughts on “Uh-Oh”

  2. What comes to mind is Job.
    He truly did acknowledge that everything he will ever have or experience is from GOD.
    The good and the bad….and he knew by faith that he was completely at GOD’s mercy – that we all are, only that we sometimes believe that we are capable or in control….
    As much as I am sorry to hear that you are unwell, as much am I in awe of your spiritual health, Gary!
    You are as resilient spiritually as your daughter must be to smile like that in the middle of her circumstances.
    In a way, you are both blessed – and an inspiration and comfort and blessing to so many other people including me – the people you bring your “gems of wisdom” to with words and pictures.
    I pray that GOD will bring you and your family to the good part now and here on this side of eternity – as HE did with Job, and gave him double for his trouble, and may your latter end be greater than your beginning….In JESUS’ name!

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    1. Thanks Eva. I agree that we are blessed. I didn’t mention that my wife is just healing from breaking her foot, so we share a lot of things in our household. Job did set the bar quite high. Our daughter does as well.

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  4. Blessed as ever by your words Gary. Praying for your healing.

    Our middle child James (then the youngest) spent his entire holiday money when he was three years old on a toy monkey, which he called ‘Do’ – nothing we said could persuade him not to spend all of his cash, or to name the monkey Do. A Matthew 13: 45-46 moment?

    James is now 35 but still has Do.

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  5. Chain saws and old(er) guys aren’t a winning combination. (My husband Guy has a scar on a knee to prove it.)

    He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. – Psalm 147:4 How awesome is that!

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    1. Very awesome Joy. Especially since it’s more than we can count. Every scar has a story behind it. I’m sure your husband tells it well. I have almost 100 stitches in a few places (hangs head). None from a chainsaw yet.

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  6. Hi Gary, I’m sorry to hear about your back, but glad to hear that you didn’t lose any body parts! I’ll be praying for your quick recovery. It will heal but it’s a reminder that these bodies aren’t what they used to be. I’ve had a couple of similar reminders and I remember them well. There’s a lot of Godly wisdom in your words of encouragement to all of us and I also marvel at the sufficiency of God’s ongoing grace. God’s sufficiency is like a rock that soothes the sometimes turbulent waters of life, providing insights that we would have otherwise missed and their value is great because they do bring inner peace, which money cannot buy. Sometimes the beauty of the wisdom leaves us speechless in adoration. You’re a dear brother and there will be many who lift you up. Thank you for sharing from your heart, blessings and more blessings to God’s glory upon you and yours! – Bruce

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    1. Thanks Bruce. Yes, wisdom does not come off the top of our head. Experiencing God in the turbulence does bring inner peace and the possibility of a dish of wisdom on the side if we pay attention. I know you speak of all this from experience. It’s too bad we can’t seem to gain all this from other people’s experiences rather than having to go through it ourselves. Thanks for your insights.

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  7. I am so glad that you are okay! Praying for your healing so you can get out there and do all the things you want to do. I know your wife and family are a blessing in these days and hours. Your pail is surely full of good things…

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    1. Thanks Linda. I can sit up for awhile and hopefully get in a car today. It’s not looking like I can ride yet though, Life can be crazy and God seems to just smile and act like us parents saying to our kids…”it will be good for you”

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      1. I think we heal in spurts…we don’t always see the progress. Still, the healing is taking place slowly. Rest is best, at this point. But, just like winter will soon be spring, you will be up and about again before you know it!!!

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  9. Maybe leave the chainsaw in the shed for a while, a long while.
    One idea- you might have a younger neighbor or friend that you could let have some the the firewood in exchange for cutting it for you. Maybe invite David up there 🙂

    Praying for your back

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    1. Thanks Matt. Good advice. I actually do not burn firewood. Being I have 80 acres of trees and many dead and down trees, I have been cutting for the mill and for firewood as a ministry to those who need it. I have been splitting by hand for the exercise. I was thinking of getting a much bigger and more powerful saw but rethinking that about now. In the spring I will transplant young trees in any open spaces and start to get the woods younger and less likely a fire Hazzard. We do have other wood cutters in the church as a ministry but none are really much younger. Joy said it well with her old guys and chainsaw remark. I should take up flying…you just sit there and let the plane do the work…LOL

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  11. You humble me with your words, Gary. And Joy’s beautiful smile is contagious! We do all carry faith buckets. Mine tends to be leaky, but God keeps filling it. How good He is to us! Praying for healing and recovery by His grace.

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    1. Thanks so much Dora. I will readily admit to being a leaky vessel as well as my pail that needs to be topped off each day. This past it’s prime body is healing, but slower than I remember at other times like this. Hopefully my memory of what not to do will stay sharp.

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  12. What a beautiful photo of you and your daughter! Thanks for sharing that radiant smile.

    Praying for a full and wise healing…

    Isaiah 26.3, 4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee. Trust ye in the LORD forever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength

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  14. Thanks for the excellent reminders. So sorry to hear that you have back problems. I know the feeling, and it is no fun at all!

    Here is a reminder I often need…

    29 He gives power to the faint,

        and to him who has no might he increases strength.

    30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,

        and young men shall fall exhausted;

    31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

        they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

    they shall run and not be weary;

        they shall walk and not faint.

    Isaiah 40:29-31 English Standard Version

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    1. Thanks Wayne, Those are great reminders for the moment. I am in the middle of a big “pause” physically and spiritually. It is good to spend time knowing in a deeper way “waiting on the Lord”

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  15. Gary, I am glad you and the saw did not have a meeting. And I hope and pray your back heals quickly. What a beautiful picture of you and your daughter. I see love and joy and faith right there.
    Your life is a inspiring example of the power of faith.

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    1. Me too Betty. I have met saw blades before (too much blood and stitches) and will do about anything to cancel any more meetings. I am grateful for that picture of our Tania Joy. It triggers so many memories.

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    1. Thank you, Anna. Yesterday I was able to lift a full coffee cup and today I was able to pour my own coffee, so, getting there. I can also walk without the back going out again…Sigh. A long ways to go.

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  17. Gary, I’m sorry for the current pain you’re experiencing. But I can feel the serenity of your soul in this writing. Your writings and photos always reflect the splendor of God. This post brings to mind, “On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate” (Psalm 145:5, ESV).

    You and your household have made that a life practice. I pray God meet your needs and provide endurance for the process.

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    1. Thank You Manette. I try not to let any of my pain do the talking as I often see it on social media. Psm 145: is a great passage to live within it’s context. A meditative verse as well as living out. Thanks for your encouragement.

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  18. Gary, the “uh-oh’s” have made for a large pail of faith. I hate hearing about your back problems and pain. I might have developed whiplash, though, nodding at your words.
    You’re not clumsy at all in your communion with Christ~you and I have the same “trips”~I call it falling flat on my faith (the name of my book of essays I’m writing lol).
    The smile on your daughter’s face, the glow, your smile of contentment, and a gob of God’s goodness in those pictures, are evidence of the contentment you know and exude.
    I’m with you on this. My pain has been a gift. I don’t have to explain it~because you know why.
    I giggled at the dancing part~no doubt you two are perfect partners and because Christ is in the center of your entire family, you know his capacity to heal and provide ~and you give it away.
    We’re blessed for knowing you, Gary. All of you. I’ll not stop praying for all of you. I love the life you’ve built for you and your family.
    PS~so glad you turned the saw off. I don’t want to think of what could’ve happened ~the back is bad enough! I’m also now craving beef jerky. Which, considering my situation, is an answered prayer for me. God bless you all. Please give your family my regards and prayers again, my friend. Here’s my verse I gave on my homepage: ”Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.“
    ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

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    1. I love the name of your book essays Karla. At least your faith is not a gooey-bubbly-sticky-whipped creamy-pail of nothingness. Ours can be fallen on, not hurt it or us, and, last forever. You sure propped me up well…I’ll be back (I know, eye-roll).
      Love that verse and your pail is full and spilling over with it. Lots of evidence you can’t hide when that happens…it’s like leaving a blood trail to the cross I think.

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      1. Thank you, Gary. Your description of a pail of nothingness vs ours that’s everlasting. And no eye-rolls here! We want you “back” (no pun intended!). We got your “back” (eye-roll here). I’ve lifted you and the wonderful women in your world up to our Heavenly Papa several times since I typed last night.
        Let’s keep leaving evidence! I’m praying today will also bring evidence of healing for you! But don’t overdo it!

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  19. Thanks Karla, I deeply appreciate the prayer and encouragements. Yesterday I paid top dollar to have a chiropractor beat me up (felt like). he did a good job of it, so I am walking straighter. He also warned me how sore I would be from the work-over. He was right. It might be a while before I ride a horse again or do some actual physical work.

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  20. “all the contentment comes from many years of having a right relationship with God.” Sage insight, Gary!! It’s moments like you speak of in this post that show the contents of one’s pail full of faith. Your pail is one that is filled with faith that has been tried and purified by fire. Grateful your thumb instinctively acted in the moment. He was truly hemming you in before and behind. May you gain more strength with each passing day. Joy- Your choice of middle names is perfect. Your daughter is radiant and beautiful!

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  21. “16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” [2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT]

    God Bless you and yours, Gary. And I love the pics.

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  22. I went over this passage the other day with our daughter G.W. That perspective is what we keep in sight through our peep hole into eternity. Take care and thanks. I am having a back popping tune up today and hope to be walking straighter soon.

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  23. Oh, Gary, I too am so sorry that back pain has side-tracked you. It IS a slow process getting back to normal. I had back surgery back in 1995; still do my PT exercises faithfully. Yet every now and then I still end up with sciatica. There are some things I just can’t do, like work in the planting beds first thing in the morning. I have to let my back slowly loosen up first. As you await your healing that WILL come, celebrate each step of progress and find some things to laugh about! Good medicine. That’s it for today from “Mother Ruegg!”

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    1. Thanks “mom” (I hear her voice in this too). I had neglected the PT exercises a bit too much, I fear. Just to escape friends sending me notes (“you are doing well at 101…happy birthday). I do relate to the back slowly loosing up. I have told my chiropractor the world wrestling federation has a place for him…next time I will tell him after the adjustment though. things are looking up, I sneezed without going into orbit.

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